Land of the Blind #1

Another day, another letter to the editor at the Chronicle about Gay Pride Day at SRS. And scanning the online reader comments, you’d think the threat of the imposition of the homosexual “lifestyle” on America was the biggest issue facing God-fearers today. But really, if all sin is equal, why the hubbub? Why not attack sin that afflicts demonstrably many more people than does the scourge of gayness? Everyone loves shrimp, gay and straight alike. Yet there it is in Leviticus, right next to laying down with men, God says eating shellfish is a bad thing. So why isn’t the warrior Christian right yelping about the succulent, abominable fried shrimp special Rhinehart’s runs every Sunday (yes, Sunday!)? Maybe they’re too busy sitting down to a big basketful of sin themselves.

Channel 12 (I think. I wasn’t really paying attention) told us Wednesday that it was hot, and when it’s hot people like to go swimming. What I want to see is the story about the guy that beats the heat by tarring his roof or smelting copper.

Over on the Soul Bar message board (because even musicians and hard-core drinkers need a place to vent), Coco Rubio announced the “12 Bands of Christmas” lineup. A pretty innocuous posting, but it spurred a full 7 pages of responses challenging the fairness of the selection process. The discussion was definitely heated: “and to all you people who keep accusing me of whining, you're reading my posts with the wrong inflection..........you should be accusing me of bravery...........because i had the balls to speak my mind on this subject,” “Stak” said. But Rubio handled it in stride. Even though he may not have placated everyone, he certainly heard them out, made rational points about the selection process and left everyone concerned, if not happy at least feeling like they’d been heard and their points considered. If Rubio can handle a bunch of cantankerous musicians with such aplomb, think of the sanity he could bring to the Augusta Commission.

The Chronicle ran a wire story about Grey’s Anatomy’s Isaiah Washington crying racism over his firing. Cause, you know, we love a story about an uppity black man.

And on the editorial page the same day, the paper likened the immigration reform bill (had it passed) to the hurricane Katrina disaster, which is pretty cool in and of itself (cities destroyed, close to 2000 dead and thousands more people displaced equals, what, hard-working people get to keep the jobs no one else wants?). But it got better. “Well, U.S. senators narrowly voted - despite themselves - to avoid another disaster…,” they said. Despite themselves? As if the bumbling congresspeople somehow managed to do the “right” thing, despite themselves. Sheesh, Chronicle, they got the result you wanted but you slam them anyway? I guess Bush and the democrat-led congress going down in flames together confoozled them. So better to err on the side of outrage, I guess. They went on to poke the local boys, saying “In Georgia and South Carolina, three of our four senators essentially voted against the bill…”. How do you “essentially” vote nay? Maybe they voted in French. “Non!”

The Outsider: MIA?

Speaking of which, I sort of miss Ryan B.

Spamtastic!

From "Diedre Ferguson", to my work mail:

"If you hope to be aware of an expert's advice regarding which way you may amplify another measure in (u know what :P)), buy the right stuff."

I deleted it immediately, cause, ya know, I already have a copy of the Wolfe book.

If you only knew

From the "whine line" in Metro Spirit last week:

"Jim Christian is one hell of a media critic, except when it comes to commenting on the Metro Spirit. I guess he doesn’t want to bite the hand that feeds him… literally."

Which is funny for a couple of reasons, first since I've commented on the Spirit in three previous colums. But also because I actually get paid in food...literally.

You're welcome

I got a virtual shout-out from a swimming blog run by a couple of Olympians. My giving has no bounds.

I'm dizzy, pt. 3: BPPV

Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. Basically, I get dizzy in certain positions, and when I do my eyes go crazy.

I saw an otologist today, and he at least knows what I have, and probably why I have it. Probably. He induced the dizziness by having my lie back rapidly and turn my head. When I got dizzy, he looked at my eyes and they were jumping around. He did it turning my head to the right, and the room swam. To the left, it was fine. It's a classic sign: the test is called "Dix-Hallpike", and it's positive when you exhibit paroxysm in your eyes. If you're positive, you have BPPV. so I have it.

Next is what causes it, and there are three choices: 1) calcium oxylate crystals floating around in your inner ear; 2) acoustic neuroma; or 3) brain tumor. He did a bunch of auditory tests and said my hearing is just fine, so that rules out #2. So most likely it's the crystals, but it's possible something's going on in my brain. He gave me some exercises to do where basically you induce the dizziness over and over until your brain starts trusting your eyes instead of your inner ear. And if that doesn't work in a couple of weeks, they start looking in my head.

He seemed pretty confident that it's the calcium oxylate crystals--if I was Dix-Hallpike positive on both sides, a tumor would be more likely. But if it's not better in a couple of weeks, he's going to do an MRI. So for the next two weeks I get to make myself dizzy as much as possible and hope things get better. I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm dizzy, pt. 2

So here I am, 9 days since my first symptoms and there's no change. I saw my doctor on Monday, but predictably she diagnosed it as "sinus trouble". I swear, you could limp into her office with a broken ankle and two things would happen: she'd give you a tympanogram and tell you to get some Claritin. Now, normally, when she trys to sell me the tympanogram, I tell her to bite me (politely), because it trully is a big ol' scam. Insurance doesn't cover it, so it's a $40 charge, and seriously, if you don't have a bunch of pain in your ear, it's worthless. Kind of like going to the mechanic to get a flat tire fixed and them selling you a radiator fill and flush.

But I bit this time, since I figured the dizziness was from an inner ear infection (even though tympanograms only diagnose middle ear infections. But whatever. As usual, my ears were fine, so of course--sinuses. So of course, I left with about 10 prescriptions for Claritin, nasal spray, promethazone (for nausea) and meclazine (for vertigo).

I've been on the meds for about a week, and no change. The meclazine knocked me on my ass at first, but I'm dealing. And actually it doesn't really even seem to work much. I'm off the promethazone now, since the nausea is much better (guess I'm getting used to the dizziness). But I still get dizzy. Every time I lie down, every time I get up. And, when I'm lying down, every time I change my head position. But not when I'm upright. So clearly there's something going on with my inner ear.

Monday, I see an ENT. Stay tuned.

I'm dizzy

And no, not from lack of posting, smartass.

OK...here's the situation. We went camping at the beach this weekend. I felt great up until Sunday morning, when I got up to pee. The mosquitoes were bad so I bug sprayed up and went back into the tent. After about 5 minutes, I started getting dizzy--I figured it was from the bug spray fumes in the tent. So I got out of the tent and felt better, still a bit nauseous, but better. An hour later I was fine.

A couple of hours later, we were at the beach. I spent about an hour in the water, then came up on the beach, plopped down on the blanket and instantly everything was spinning. It lasted about 30 seconds, but returned as soon as I sat up. But once the spinning stopped, I was fine. Back out into the water. Felt fine again until I lay down, and then wham--instantly dizzy again. After one more episode, I thought I was going to hurl, so we packed everything up and headed home.

So since then, every time I lie down (or lay down...f-you, grammar Nazis, I'll never learn that rule and you can't make me!), I get dizzy. Every time I sit up, I get dizzy. When I'm not doing one of those things, I feel better, but still off. Sort of fuzzy-headed, like I've been taking decongestants. When I'm walking around, I'm a little wobbly.

No drinking involved, no drugs involved (OTC, Rx or illicit).

So what the hell's going on? Brain tumor? Burst aneurysm? My politics finally catching up with me?