I *am* at work

So suck it.

Please, try this at home!

And not in your damn car.

I took this picture *after* this chick nearly drove into the median on Bobby Jones, doing 80. After correcting her swerve, she resumed applying her eye makeup. And she never noticed me taking her photo.

P-Funk's in town!

Apparently.

This guy was walking down the street last week, just past 7:30 in the rainy AM. It's hard to tell from the picture, but he really is wearing nothing but shoes, socks and pink panties. Oh...and a big smile on his face.

Pure pork goodness

On rainy days when we were young, my mom used to serve my brother and me sausage for breakfast. You see, the rain always made us gloomy, so we'd drag into the kitchen mumbling instead of talking, bummed by the immanent wet walk to the bus stop.

So it was sausage on those days, because mom liked to illustrate how we were better off than the pig.

The juicy, delicious pig.

Spamtastic!

From Ariceli Self:

"Passport now has more than 200 million registered users although many accounts lie fallow because. The Passport service is key to Microsofts ambitions to get users signing up to webbased."

Is this some cryptic message about Bill Gates' plans for world domination? An invitation to join the heard? Is there Viagra involved somehow?

Don't feed the animals

A city that bases it's very being on drawing as many people as possible to it's attractions has suddenly developed a very skewed vision of humanity to go with it's pre-existing skewed vision of reality. I give you Orlando, Florida, ladies and gentlemen, a city of magical kingdoms, greenery and more lakes than you can shake a stick at. And a city where it's now illegal to feed the homeless. That's right. In a city where generally being nice to people should be the norm, you can get thrown in jail and put on trial simply for, well, being nice to people.

Giving aid to those in need is a most-cherished human quality. Or at least it used to be, apparently. So now are parks are like zoos, except I'd be willing to bet that in Orlando it's perfectly fine to feed squirrels. Just not the people. Well fuck that. You can't strip people of their humanity. Well, I guess you can try, but it won't fucking work.

Just like daddy

So I'm heading downtown to drop Amy off at the Spirit office, and as we're heading down Broad, there's a cop car with his flashers on, and a couple of cops are hassling a homeless guy on the sidewalk. Nola sees it and asks what's going on.

"I dunno, baby."

"Like, maybe he had too many beers or something?"

"(laughing a little) Yeah, baby, maybe so."

"And they're gonna make him walk in a straight line?"

"(more laughing) Probably so, baby, probably so."

Thw answer is 42 (redux)

Apparently, joking about Dick Cheney's alleged baby-eating "isn't funny" and is "in poor taste." So, because I'm the sensitive, caring guy I am, I hereby apologize to the parent's of any babies whom Cheney has eaten. Allegedly.

The answer is 42

Every day (I think) CNN has a reader poll where they ask stuff like "Should Britney get to keep her kids?" or "Does Dick Cheney eat babies for breakfast, or just as an occasional snack?" But today, they ask this:

"Do you think self-doubt limits your ability to live life to its fullest?"

That's some pretty heavy shit. Probably some cnn staffer is contemplating offing themselves, but wanted to do some research first. That's always prudent, I find.